Well, the exciting news that I've been waiting to share is that it looks like I'll be transfering to the distribution center! What?? What's that?? Oh, right...my lawyer would like to add something:
Transferee hereby agrees to and does for himself and his heirs, executors, administrators, successors and assigns, and each of them, release, remit, remise, acquit and forever discharge Employer, all individual members of Board of Directors (past, present and future), its employees, officer, agents, successors and assigns and Target, Inc. from any and all matters of action, causes of action, grievances, rights or claims of rights, debts, dues, damages, liabilities, costs claims, controversies, demands, torts, contracts, agreements, guarantees, indebtedness, obligations, expenses, accountings, warranties and choices in action, in law or in equity, including grievances of unfair labor practices and of every nature and description whatsoever by reason of or in respect to the performance by Retiree of any extra duty assignment by Transferee whether known or unknown, suspected or unsuspected, latent or patent, or has at any time heretofore owned or held against the aforesaid parties or Board of Directors.
Wow. That was kind of akward. Kinda slowed down the story and stifled my creativity! Oh well, I guess that's the kind of world we live in. You know you can't buy a iron these days without heeding the warning, "do not iron clothes while you're wearing them." 0r a curling iron, "for external use only." You know that all of these disclaimers in our lives are here because someone, late for work, tried to iron their clothes after they got dressed. They were then in so much pain they took way too much medication, combined with a couple shots of alcohol and said, "well...I guess it's time to operate heavy machinary now!"
But, you know, that's what it's come down to. It's a "cover your ass" world we live in. Caution, contents may be hot. Slippery when wet. Danger, thin ice. Radar enforced. Monitered by cameras. Remove child before folding. Do not reach hand inside until moving parts have stopped. Do not use to dry pet. And the classic, Avoid death.
What boggles my mind, is that some things are so regulated and enforced and others, it seems, are up to our discretion. Who decides these things? Do you know that anyone who wants to can climb up the cables at Half-dome in Yosemite? There are signs everywhere to not leave food in your car, tent, etc., but everyday there's an incident because someone decided not to heed the warning. Then later that afternoon the same moron is hanging precariously 4000 feet above their mangled car on the side of a sheer granite face. No guard rails, no supervision. Do we really trust them to do the right thing? No! People die every year from falling off half-dome so I guess when the National Park Service gets sued there will be a waiver, a pre-requisite course, a guide, money, and it will be another one of those, "avoid death" signs.
So, time's running out people! You want to feed a grizzly bear a sandwich? Go to Yellowstone now! Want to sneak up on a moose for a good photo and enjoy the thrill of being charged? Head up the Alcan highway! But I'm telling you, someday soon we'll all need lawyers and disclaimers for everything. Remember the good ole days when you got a call by mistake? You used to say, "sorry, wrong number." Someday soon a lawyer will be there on the other end of the phone ready to say, "Unless otherwise agreed expressly in writing by both parties, this communication is to be treated as confidential and the information in it may not be used or disclosed except for the purpose for which it has been intended. If you have reason to believe that you are not the intended recipient of this communication, please contact your phone provider immediately."
Have a presentation at work? Your lawyer will stand up and say, "the opinions stated in the following presentation are not the opinions of the company...yet. Warning: Although the company has taken reasonable precautions to ensure that my client is not going to say anything totally crazy, there is a chance he will, in which case the company cannot accept responsibility for any loss or damage arising from what you're about to hear. Listen, observe, read, and think at your own risk!
Going grocery shopping? Soon there will be a huge sign in front of the store..."Warning...consumtion of the food hereby contained on these premises, without the appropriate physical activity, will result in an energy imbalance, which will lead to weight gain, mood swings, lowered sense of self worth, lack of motivation, sweating, tight clothes, and general discomfort. Proceed at your own risk." We might as well close all the fast food joints. Except for in n out!
So yes, it looks like I'm transferring to the DC. The drive will be shorter and hopefully I'll be working days. It's either a 3 or 4 day work week, so that'll be nice. I am excited for the new challenges that await me and I think it'll be nice to be out of the retail side of things. Not that there's anything wrong with that! I feel that the DC business will suit my personality and blue collar nature while allowing me to leverage my strengths in order to faciliate growth as I develop as a leader at Target in preparation for my future roles.
Happy trails,
Mike.
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